I Secretly Like Indian Squat Toilets…

12 Jan

Our India Blog has hit a new low- all things scatological…

Now don’t tell anyone because it is a little embarrassing, but I secretly like Indian squat toilets.  Now come on, not the nasty ones you find in a railway station that have urine and excrement all over them, and not the ones that you might find in a curry house- for obvious reasons.  Or even the ones you can smell from 25 feet away.  I’m talking about the kind that you can do your business in and keep it clean yourself.

You’ll find three types of toilets in India: the squat toilet- also referred to as the Turkish toilet or the Indian toilet,  the Western toilet- you know- the kind you sit on, and a strange hybrid of the two which I don’t know what to call it.

Now it’s not easy to use one of these lovely contraptions.  If you are new to Indian style toilets the entire process can be confusing, frustrating, or just downright messy.  Just follow these simple rules and you will be just fine:

  1. Stand on the footprints.
  2. Pull down your pants/ lift skirt and undergarments.
  3. Squat.
  4. Line up the relevant hole with the one in the ground.
  5. Do your business.
  6. Wash with small water bucket provided or use toilet paper and place in the provided bucket.
  7. Fill large bucket with water and wash everything down into the septic tank- if it is particularly nasty, use the bowl brush and clean the toilet- PLEASE!
  8. Wash your hands.
  9. Smile. 🙂

It gets easier with practice to keep your pants out of harm’s way, but it may be easier the first few times to just take them off-if you are using the squat toilet in your own room- you may want to go ahead and leave them on if you are in someone’s house, or a restaurant for obvious reasons.)  You also might want to hold on to something to steady yourself until you get the whole squatting thing down.

Anyway, happy motions*!

*Ed note: Anthony & Astrid’s India Blog will in no way be held responsible for stains to clothing, torn muscles, or any other medical or cleaning bill that comes from trying the rules laid out in today’s blog posts.

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3 Responses to “I Secretly Like Indian Squat Toilets…”

  1. Mitchell April 20, 2008 at 6:17 am #

    I haven’t found an answer to THIS question:

    I have travelled a few times to India and avoided these toilets. I cannot work out how to keep my clothes on (I am male so think underpants & trousers here) and thereafter wash my backside afterwards while simultaneously keeping my clothes dry.

    The other alternative is to remove said clothing; but of course this means removing everything from the waist down and risk dragging them through the combined and accumulated filth on the floor. I’d be lucky if there was a hook to hang them on!

    Any clues here ?

    • Hmmm! August 9, 2012 at 6:13 am #

      Lol..there isn’t an alternative to this..you just have to remove all your clothes waist down. Work with the system 🙂

  2. Prakash February 8, 2010 at 12:58 am #

    A lot of westerners find this system dirty and uncivilized, but for us Indians, nothing is more unhygienic than cleaning your crevice with a paper.
    uuurrrrrrrrrrgh!!

    Use water people. keep it clean.

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